I’m a parent and I know very well how my own children could be pretty expert at leveraging guilt. Unfortunately, this skill improves with age. I would guess that most parents would say they want their children to be resilient adults. How is that going to happen if they never experience disappointment? Resilience is developed over time and ideally in small increments. We cannot protect our kids from disappointments, but we can help them develop the skills to manage disappointment when it happens. So if you were not able to order a cookie for your kid this week (either because you forgot or the line got too long), do not despair. I’m not saying a child’s disappointment isn’t real but it will fade pretty fast . All of us have made both great and small sacrifices for our kids and still sometimes we come up short even when we do our best. I can tell you for a fact, the lack of a cookie is a minor disappointment that your child is very capable of managing. So if you missed the deadline to order a cookie maybe you bought a little resilience?
It’s just a cookie, or is it ? Parental Guilt
Posted in 6-12 - Anne Matern